Two three–letter text: “but” and “and.” In grammatical conditions, they are known as conjunctions. They bridge two clauses of a one sentence collectively. In conversation (and negotiation), these words and phrases are delicate manipulators of exclusion or inclusion. Generally speaking, “but” excludes, denies, savings or in some way rejects the preceding clause. For example, the statement “she is a pretty successful employee but she can be a bit demanding” is subtly unique than “she is a quite effective worker and she can be a little bit demanding.” In the initial case in point, the “but” tends to convey a negation of the very first clause of the sentence in favor of the next clause of the sentence. In the upcoming instance, the “and” tends to convey an inclusion of the initially clause alongside with the 2nd clause.
Get one more illustration: “Of course I have an understanding of you require to meet with me just before tomorrow’s meeting but my routine is packed full” vs. “I Of course I realize you want to meet with me right before tomorrow’s meeting and my agenda is packed full.” In this example, by applying “and” in its place of “but” the speaker not only avoids negating the first clause but also conveys to the listener that his/her issues about needing to fulfill are acknowledged.
Making use of “and” is also a much softer way to say no. For case in point, the regular “of course, but” can quickly be changed with “certainly, and.” For case in point, the request “We need to have to purchase new personal computers” can be responded to with “of course I know, but we are not able to until finally next year” or “yes I know, and we are unable to until eventually up coming yr.” The “and” does not negate the “sure” whilst the “but” does tend to convey a sense of canceling out that which preceded the “but.”
The use of “but” is extraordinarily common. In truth, several persons truly acknowledge the subtle impact of employing but. If you were being to consciously try to modify “but” to “and” in your speaking, you will recognize how odd it feels. But, it is a worthwhile work out if for no other purpose than to turn into far more cozy with the capability to swap from 1 to the other. However, there can be a extra critical rationale: working with “and” rather of “but” can positively affect dialogue. When using “and” as an alternative of “but” there is a sense of inclusion and acceptance even if the summary is a denial or refusal.
Try it out around the subsequent many times. Listen to others’ sentences and when you listen to “but” adjust it in your individual intellect to “and.” Then, commence listening to your very own sentences. When you listen to on your own about to say “but” transform it to “and” but remember one particular detail…oops…and try to remember 1 point…